Do you have Energy Vampires in your life?
Energy Vampires!
I have met a lot of people, most leave an impact (positive or negative)!
One person I can never forget is — Dandapani — A monk based in NYC. He shared a very powerful concept with me which I think everyone should adopt — ‘Energy Vampires’.
First let’s understand ‘Energy’.
Energy — We are all made up of it. It’s what keeps us going! It’s a finite resource (we die when it’s over, we are weak when its low, we are happy when it’s free flowing!). So many times you would have experienced that you enter some place and it immediately lifts up your mood, at other places you feel not at ease — it’s the energy /vibe of the place playing with your energy patterns.
Now lets understand ‘Vampires’ in context of ‘Energy Vampires’
You’d notice that there are some people who you love talking to (keep them close) and there are a few who completely screw your mood (watch out list!). There are some people who you speak to and within minutes you feel low / drained out — these are ‘Energy Vampires’ — who just suck all the energy.
Dadapani says — one should watch out for second type (who drain you) as energy is a finite resource and we should use it judiciously.
Solution is — to first identify these people. Make a list.
Once identified, they can be people we can avoid (friends / clients) and those we can’t (relations / family / sibling/ spouse / parents / In laws — it can be anyone — depending on your situation).
Though best solution is to cut yourself off completely — for those of us who can’t implement this to the T — I advice — defining cut off limits. The people we can avoid — we should and must. In case of close relations — there are people who don’t necessarily mean your bad but it’s just the way they start / say things which ends up have the opposite impact on you. Identify them & now consciously limit discussions, or switch off your mind after 3 minutes. It works — just don’t react. Let them say whatever they want — just conserve your energy.
I know it’s easier said than done but there is no other solution. It’s a fact that some people are energy sucking vampires. Engaging with them will only make one person lose — You. It’s also a fact that good people, well-wishers with just their words can lift you up (irrespective of your situation) — engaging with them will also make only one person benefit — You.
To emphasize the value of keeping ‘negative / energy vampires’ at bay, let me share another example. I read a book called ‘My Gita’ from Devdutt Pattanaik (and it’s a good read!). There though ‘energy vampire’ as a concept has not been used in straight words but moral stays the same.
In a nutshell — In Mahabharat (a Hindu scripture / war of clans), there were two decorated warriors — Arjun & Karna (two warring ends). Out of the two — Karna — was more accomplished as an archer, a man of right values & integrity (stood by his friend / honored the word given to his mom even though she abandoned him at birth / kept his promise made to his guru etc etc — now right or wrong is another topic but by the book — he was a great person)
& then we had the hero — Arjun — who was a great warrior but inferior to Karna in all aspects.
When they went to war — Arjun got Lord Krishna (Cow Keeper) as a charioteer & Karna got King Shalya (had himself led/ fought wars) as his charioteer. All along Arjun had weak moments but his charioteer kept saying positive things and kept him going. While though Karna was a better warrior — his charioteer kept discouraging him (bring down his morale) while drawing wrong comparisons (showing Arjun in a better light)
For Karna — King Shalya was an Energy Vampire (ostensibly on his side but still drained him of energy)
In our life too — there can be such people. Identify them and maintain distance. No matter who they are (In start –up world could be your mentor / adviser / investor — anyone who pulls you down — has to be avoided at any cost). I am all for constructive criticism but negative people — no matter in what package they come — irrespective of how big the up side might appear –should be avoided.
I believe - as an entrepreneur your biggest responsibility is to keep yourself positive — whatever it takes — because if you approach any problem with a positive mind — results are better (and vice -versa)— this has started to work for me :)
